A year ago I got my heart broken. Although not as bad as the ones I’d experienced in my 20s, it still hurt. See, this was a person who I KNEW was an asshole to women but could nevertheless charm his way into any woman’s skirt. While he was someone special to me, nothing ever happened between us because we grew up together and I knew that he was absolutely incapable of being in any type of real committed relationship with a woman. As a friend, he was cool but he was never really nice to “his women”. This is the reason why, during all those years I knew him, I kept the wall up – appreciative of the friendship but mindful that this could never be more. After all those years, I thought we had gotten to a point where we could truly be friends but then he proved me wrong and that hurt.
So, to get over my disappointment, I took on a hobby which led to me being more mindful of my wellness and skin care. Now, I had always practiced healthy, ritualistic skin care but I never really took the time to think deeply about it and share my knowledge with others. I didn’t think it mattered and I’d assumed EVERYONE knew how these products worked. But when I started sharing my story and knowledge, it became instantly clear that there are people out there who don’t know how this stuff works but for whatever reason wanted to get into it. And more importantly, they had similar stories to mine and were looking to start their journey into self care through skin care but didn’t know how. So, I started a blog to share my knowledge and in doing so, I became part of a community of strong women who empower each other.
What this experience taught me is that:
1) we could all share a bit more;
2) never assume that everyone knows what you know; and (most importantly)
3) helping others in your community is a great way to heal your heart.
While I’ll never know why that person treated me the way he did last year, I’ve at least come to the realization that it doesn’t matter. It’s not relevant anymore because I’ve found an entire community of women with similar experiences who have lived to tell their stories. Furthermore, I can acknowledge that while I went through that situation the pain from it didn’t destroy me. Instead, it forced me to be more mindful of the power of self love, which in turn made me stronger and cognizant of my value based on my ability to help others despite my heartbreak. In other words, I’ve found that making conscious choices to exercise self care has led me to realize that it feels good to be a good person both to myself and to those around me and in focusing on that, I’ve learned to heal my heart. So, here I am, 1 year later in the exact same place that that person broke my heart…stronger, wiser and most importantly, more mindful of my worth. And no one. including him, could ever take that away from me 👊🏽.